


Defying Explanation

by Weallfadeaway



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Epilepsy, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jedam - Freeform, Life altering incident, M/M, Medical Trauma, Not Beta Read, Old Flames Reignited, Original Character(s), Seizures, Very personal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:53:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28235727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weallfadeaway/pseuds/Weallfadeaway
Summary: Jeff develops late onset epilepsy and Adam introduces him to his cousin who also has seizures, hoping she can lend a helping hand. But is that all in his intentions? Or something deeper? (Jeff/Adam, Christian/OFC, mentioned Matt/Shane Helms)LATEST CHAPTER SNEAK-PEAK:"What are you doing?" he asked, looking down at me with a curious smile, as I removed his pants and underwear."Decorating my favorite canvas." I replied, with a devious smile as I moved around over the top of him and got face to face with the pool of color. I began gently blowing the paint in all different directions, creating paths down the indentions of his musculature. The lines in his abs were the easiest to work with and he was wiggling and giggling underneath me as I traced them.
Relationships: Adam 'Edge' Copeland/Jeff Hardy, Christian Cage/OFC, Edge/Jeff Hardy, Jedam
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

I woke up in the ambulance. It took me a few minutes to realize that's where I was exactly. I was completely out of it, drowsy. My head was pounding like it never had before. I instantly panicked, became frantic, started pulling at the wires attached to me. I felt hands pushing my arms down, trying to stop me from doing more damage, whatever that was. I smacked them away, fighting to get up. I just wanted to look at myself, see what was wrong. It took me about five minutes more before I realized the EMT's had strapped me down, so there was no point.

Although I definitely hadn't calmed, my breathing slowed when admitting defeat. What the hell had happened? Did I mess up that swanton? Did someone hit me with a chair when they weren't supposed to? Shit, I don't even remember making it out to the ring. Obviously, I must have hit my head, but this didn't feel like just a concussion. This was worse. My whole body ached in a brand new way other than the familiar tenderness in my muscles I had after a match. I was more groggy than usual. It was taking me longer to process information. The front of my clothes were wet. I had the taste of blood and vomit in my mouth; it was all over my shirt. And to top it off, I had peed my pants. This was, without a shadow of a doubt, something very bad.

"Mr. Hardy, do you know where you are?" One of the EMT's asked me as he shined a bright light in my eyes. They were checking to see if my pupils were dilated. They were checking to see if there's been a traumatic injury, which was obvious, but they also could have been checking on damage to the central nervous system, which I really hoped it wasn't.

"I'm in an ambulance. What happened?" I asked, wearily, still discombobulated from whatever incident that put me here.

"Can you tell me when your birthday is?" He asked, completely ignoring what I had asked.

"Yeah! It's when you were fucking born! What happened to me!?" I yelled, becoming agitated. Rightfully so, I felt. I just wanted my question answered!

"Sir, you need to calm down. I need you to answer me and once you do we can start finding out the problem, okay?"

The real problem? Right now, I couldn't _remember_ my birthday. I couldn't _remember_ how old I was. I couldn't _remember_ my height, my weight. Anything! Not at first, at least. It was taking me a few minutes to remember what most teenage girls had memorized from the first second they saw me.

"Sir... you had a seizure." The man said.

"What!?"

"You were backstage. You claimed to one of the crew you weren't feeling well. Then you fell to the ground and had a grand maal seizure. You sprained your wrist slightly with the fall, but that should be fine. We'll put it in a brace and give you some anti-inflammatory drugs and some pain killers."

" _No_!" I interjected, "No pain pills. I was addicted. Ibuprofen or whatever will be fine." I always hated the looks I got when I admitted that to someone. But it was easier than dealing with having the pills around and trying to keep myself from relapsing. "How... how did this happen?"

"Well, we believe, since there was no immediate brain trauma, that old head injuries have caused epilepsy. We're going to take you to the hospital and get an MRI done to see if that is, in fact, the problem, okay sir?"

Everything they said to me after that just faded away. A seizure? Epilepsy? Could you really start having seizures when you were this old? Not that I was _old_ or anything, I just thought that was a disease that started early in life, when you were a child. Not when you were in your early forties.

I didn't expect this reaction in the slightest, but I had started crying. Not just silent tears either; it was _bawling_ , like a girl that got dumped on prom night, crying. But how could I _not_ be emotional? Everything I had was gone now. No more wrestling. No more motocross. No more being... well, _me_! I couldn't be the carefree, fun loving, wild, wacky self that I'd always been. It was over.

When I got to the hospital, Matt had come to see me for a few hours. He brought my tablet to me which I was super grateful for. Thank god! Otherwise, I might just die there from boredom. Now, I could at least watch some Hulu or go on Instagram or something.

When he left, he said, "Hey, bro. Don't let this get you down. This isn't the end. We'll all be here for you."

It was sweet that he was trying to make me feel better about the whole thing, but it just made me feel worse. I didn't _want_ to be a burden. And I especially didn't want my dad, in his old age, worrying about _my_ health. It was supposed to be the other way around.

Matt had to leave then to check into his hotel. It was getting late, so I wasn't expecting any other visitors. I laid back, getting ready to watch old episodes of The X Files and try go keep myself entertained in the next couple of hours until I got out.

While watching my show, I had actually started to go to sleep. I was exhausted to a level I didn't know existed. At this point, there was nothing in the whole world I wanted more than just a few minutes of sleep. My whole body was _screaming_ for it. But everytime a nurse came in and caught me napping, I'd get woken up. They kept saying it was unsafe for me to sleep for the next eight hours. If she only knew how _insane_ that sounded to me... That was torture!

That was it I really didn't think there would be anything that could make me feel better at that point. That was, until he walked in.

"Adam?"

He was still as gorgeous as ever. The biggest, brightest smile you ever saw and the gentle, hazel eyes that warmed you to your soul. He was still fit, which was good. It meant he didn't let retirement turn him into a lazy couch potato, like he always claimed it would.

"Hey, man. I heard what happened. Came to see how you were." He said, handing me an all white, furry teddy bear and a bag of skittles.

"Teddy bear? Really?" I asked, bemused.

"Thought you could do something cool to it. Hardy-fy it, you know." He smiled.

"So... how'd you find out? And how'd you get here so fast?" I asked.

"Matt called. And Tampa's pretty close to where I am." He replied, "How are you feeling?"

"Alot like after that last ladder match me and you had." I said, and he chuckled, "Only everything is taking three times as long to understand. And I bit off a big chunk of my tongue and on the inside of my lip, so everything tastes like blood, no matter what I do. And I have to leave here in a shirt covered in puke and pissed pants."

"Ouch. Well... I know that's gotta suck, but... I meant, how are you _feeling?_ About all this?" He asked, as he sat in the chair next to my bed.

I sighed, defeatedly. I hated opening up like that to people, but this was Adam. It was different. He _used_ to be someone who I ran to with this stuff all the time. So I guess I could trust him. "Pretty miserable. Pissed off at the world. Don't know what I'm going to do next. If I can even _do_ anything I enjoy anymore. I just... I wish I would just wake up and have this all be a dream." I said, tugging at my hair in frustration. "I always knew it would be some medical disaster that would take me out. I just thought I'd at least do it in the ring, you know?"

"Yeah. I definitely know." He replied. Of course he did. He had to retire because of his neck, his spine... but I think he always thought the same way I did. He thought it'd be some big trick that didn't go right. Hell, he might have even thought we'd be in that match together. I know I did at one point in time. "So, what's the plan? Have they told you anything?"

"They did the MRI. Rushed it for me, since I'm so pretty..." I joked, before adding the hard news, "They said there's a mass of dead brain tissue on the left parietal lobe that's sending out random electrical signals and it's causing the seizures. They can happen anytime now, unless they find a medication that gets rid of them completely. But that's pretty unlikely. Usually it will just lessen the severity it hits you when you have one."

"Damn, I don't even know what to say. I'm really sorry, dude."

"Yeah, you know what the worst part is? It's not the pain. Pain, I can deal with; that's nothing. It's everything I have to give up now. I can't drive, in case I have one behind the wheel. I can't go to parties, concerts... anywhere with strobe lights. I can't even go to the bathroom and lock the door now! I have to have someone check on me in the shower!" I exclaimed. I couldn't help it, I had started crying again.

He grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. "Hey, hey, hey... you'll be okay, man. I know it seems like the end now. But you'll get past this. Trust me."

"I know you _think_ you understand, Adam. But this is a little different than what happened to you."

"Yeah, you're right. I _don't_ know what a seizure is like, but I've seen a lot of them in the last few years. At least, two a week on average."

"Really? How?" I asked, intrigued. Adam never told me anything like that! Then again, it's not like we kept in touch much the last few years either. A few texts here and there, a phone call or two, but not like it used to be. We used to call or text eachother about four times a day with funny stories or ideas, now I'm lucky if it's four times a month.

"I have a cousin, Ren. Well, her name is Lorencia, but don't ever call her that. She hits hard... But yeah, she's epileptic too. She used to live with a guy, Frankie, and he would watch out for her, take care of her during her seizures as best he could. But they broke up, so she came to live with me." He said, "And now... I'm asking you to do the same."

"Live with you?"

"Well, I'm not asking you to marry me or anything." He said, which I replied, jokingly, with a disappointed 'awwww!'. He laughed and continued, "Just for a while. However long you want, really, until you can cope with this better on your own. And I think talking to Ren would help you. Trust me, she'll scare you about this stuff, but you'll be glad you heard her stories... If you don't want to, no harm done. But I think it would be better if you did. At least be around people who know what to do when it happens."

Live with him? Was he serious? It would be nice to get some insight on all of this, but was I really ready to pack it all up at the drop of a hat and move for awhile? I don't know. I mean, I practically barely see my house as it is. But then, what would happen if I did go home? I'd have Matt, Dad, Shannon, Shane... everyone I knew babysitting me constantly and trying to treat me like an invalid. At least with Adam I knew that wouldn't happen. He hadn't changed how he's treated me so far, at least.

And he's always been really compassionate and caring, in his own way. He does try to put up a tough front, but once you get to know him, you see he's the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. And, plus, he _was_ one of the best friends I ever had once, so it would be nice to try to relinquish that closeness we once shared.

I finally answered, "You know what? Yeah. I think I will."

I didn't know if I was making the right decision, but something in Adam's eyes made me think that I was.


	2. Chapter 2

I was signing my release forms when Adam had come back to the room. He left a while ago, saying he'd be back with a surprise. Knowing him, that could mean anything. Something sweet, something practical... or just something to be a jerk and see the look on your face.

"Ooh ooh, whad'ya get me! Whad'ya get me!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands and bouncing up and down on the bed, much like a child getting a present on their birthday. He pulled my away bag I took on the road with me from behind the door. "Ooh, yay! Clean clothes! How'd you get it?" I asked.

"Went to the arena. No biggie. It was nice getting to see some of the old crew, anyway. I've been meaning to for awhile, just got busy." He said.

I got up from my bed, and grabbed the bag of my dirty clothes, "Well, thanks alot, man. Now we can burn these."

I opened it, pulling out my wallet and my Hardy Boyz chain, but threw the rest in the trash. The wallet was fine, unsoiled in my back pocket, but my chain was a mess. I walked over to the sink and began cleaning it as best I could.

Adam started laughing. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"Your ass is hanging out the back."

"Really? Come on, bro. You used to rub that self tanner shit on my butt all the time and I did the same for you. It ain't nothing you haven't seen before."

"You're right, but I don't ever remember seeing it hanging out of the back of a hospital gown." He said, "I don't know. Just funnier this way somehow."

I changed and we got on the road. It was about an hour to his place. We had made it about half way when I started feeling overheated, clammy, nauseous. It was similar to how I felt before I would throw up, but worse. My breathing sped up, as did my heart rate. _Oh no.._..

"Adam! Pull over!"

"What's the matter?" He asked, pulling to the side of the road, as my vision went black.

The next thing I knew, I woke up to a wet cloth on my face, which I threw off. The car's seat was reclined and I was on my side. Adam was holding my hand and pushing the sweat-dampened hair out of my eyes. I struggled to get up, but he put his hand on my shoulder and told me to stay lying back.

"Oh shit. I had another one?" I asked, but I had already known the answer.

"Yeah. We're almost home though. Trust me, you'll feel much better after a nap and a hot bath."

"They told me not to sleep." I protested.

"Yeah, they tell that to everyone, but everyone's are different. All you want to do is sleep afterwards, right?" He asked, and I agreed. "Then why fight your body's natural instincts? I've seen them do that shit to Ren at the hospital, keep her up, won't even let her leave the bed to go to the bathroom. She had to use a bedpan."

"That's insane! Just because she had a seizure, they think she can't remember how to walk or something? What the hell?"

"I know! I'm pretty sure it's just for insurance reasons. But yeah... that's why she doesn't usually go to the hospital unless she gets injured during one or something. You should see how much better she can get back into the swing of things after an hour long nap, rather than how she is when she goes there and they make her stay awake. It takes _days_ longer for her to get back into the groove than when it does after a nap."

"Then you won't mind if I sleep the rest of the way?"

He smiled, tucking my hair behind my ear, and said, "Go ahead."

When I woke up this time, I was on Adam's couch, tucked under a purple fuzzy blanket I always used when I was at his house. I loved it. It was so soft and smelled so good. I rolled onto my back and stretched, not expecting the cracking of bones and strain on sore muscles that occurred. I then cracked my neck with satisfied moans, hearing loud sounds that reminded me of popcorn popping.

"Ooh, that sounded like a good one." A voice said. I looked over to the recliner to see a young woman sitting there. This must be Ren. She was slightly overweight, hazel green eyes. One thing that was hard not to notice was the giant scar on her forehead that curved up into her hairline, like a half circle. She had a purple mohawk. The shaved sides made the scar more visible, which made me wonder why she chose it. The redemption factor for me was a red and blue checkerboard dyed into it. It was a normal mohawk, not one like the girls normally had with the weird strips of hair on the side that looked like sideburns. I hated those and loved hair dye, so she already was on my good side.

She had a big bag full of markers, gel pens, random art supplies on the table and had one of those adult coloring books she was working on in her lap. She liked art too? That was awesome. I had a feeling we were going to get along. I looked closer at the book... _Fantomorphia_. Sounded like a fetish or a disorder or something. The picture she was working on was interesting though. It was a cat's face wearing a steampunk looking top hat.

"What?" I asked.

"Your neck cracking. Sounded like a good one." She said, simply.

"You're Ren, I presume?" I asked, which she answered with a nod. "Yeah, it felt pretty damn good. Hey, I'm..."

"Jeff freakin' Hardy! Yeah, I know. Big fan." She said.

"Where's Adam? Did he carry me inside?" I asked, confused, looking around for him. I got the horrible mental picture of him carrying me like a bride over the threshold. Like _that_ would ever happen. Everyone knows I top.

"Well, you looked like you really needed that sleep, man. I didn't wanna wake you." He replied, walking down the stairs. He had a shirt draped over his shoulder and was just in a pair of shorts. He was rubbing a towel through his damp hair, so I assumed he just got out of the shower. I couldn't help but notice the way the droplets of water would trail down his chest at a snail's pace. They were hitting his hipbone and sliding down the side of his cut groin, which was peeking out of the top of the fabric.

I'm not going to lie. At one point, I would have been wishing I could lick that water off of those rock hard muscles. Okay, a _little_ bit of me still did. But it felt awkward now with the gap in our friendship and how much I realized I didn't know about him anymore.

"You didn't use up all the hot water, did you?" I asked him.

"No. You should hurry up to the bath though. I just ran it for you." He said, "Up these stairs, second door on the right."

Really? He ran my bath? I never even took baths. I was more a shower person. Whatever. Anything was good at this point. I stunk of puke and sweat and I just needed to get clean! I grabbed my bag off of the floor, and headed up the stairs.

"Really, Adam? A _bubble_ bath?" I yelled down to him as soon as I saw it.

"It's therapeutic! Eucalyptus oils and other stuff that helps sore muscles. Now, get in! Before it gets cold!" He yelled back.

I went in and locked the door. _Oh wait! That's right!_ I can't do that anymore. I sighed, sadly, unlocking the handle and went back to the task at hand. That was going to be a hard habit to break, for sure.

I stripped quickly, and lowered myself into the bath, instantly feeling the relief from the heat of the water. Man, this _really_ was helping more than I thought it would. I had almost started drifting asleep again, when I heard a knock at the door, and Adam ask if I was okay. Another thing I would have to get used to. I was never going to be fully alone in the bathroom anymore without someone hovering outside the door, listening to make sure they didn't hear any 'thud' sounds. I wonder if someone's going to check on me now when I'm taking a dump too. Sucks for _them_ , is all I gotta say.

Adam peeked his head in, hand up to block anything he didn't want to see. "Again, Ad, nothing you haven't seen before. Besides, there's still bubbles." I said, before asking, "Did you need something?"

He brushed his hand over the back of his head, and replied nervously, "I was about to ask you the same thing."

"I'm ok, man. Thanks." I said, "Thanks for all of this, really. But I gotta ask... why _are_ you doing this? I know what you said earlier, like you thought Ren could help me. But you could have just gave me her email, her number... Why are _you_ helping me? What's in this for you?"

"Well, first off, I know what it's like to think you have years of your career ahead of you and have it all snatched away in an instant. When I found out... man, I wanted to end it all. I was so depressed. I didn't know how to spend my days. I felt like I didn't have a purpose anymore..."

It was hard to picture Adam like that. He was always so happy. I think the longest I had seen him sad was _maybe_ an hour. He was always so happy it radiated to everyone around him, bringing them out of the gloomiest of moods. At least, I know it worked that way with me.

"Which comes to my second point, I _did_ really care about you at one time and I know that's how you got to feel now too. Depressed, confused on what to do, where to go now in life. We were best friends; back then, I knew you better than most of my family members." He said, sadly. He was leaning against the counter, before he walked over to me, crouching at the side of the tub. "I never thought it would get this way between us, Jeff. Things between me and Matt really screwed things up with me and you... and I _hate_ that it did. But that was years ago and Matt and I are cool again. So, I was just hoping this could make things better between us."

"That's pretty much the reason I came too. I've really missed you, Adam." I said, as I looked up into his eyes. There was something there in his eyes that I couldn't quite figure out, a hint of something I had never seen before. Our gazes locked and a feeling came over me. A warmth in the pit of my stomach and my hand was almost shaking as I put it on top of his. I had never felt anything like this before... but I was having a lot of new experiences today, that's for sure.

I don't know what came over me just then, but I hopped up out of the tub. I grabbed his arm and pulled him up into an embrace...


	3. Chapter 3

I began waltzing with him around the bathroom, Gomez and Morticia style, getting him completely soaked. I expected him to look mad... partially at dampening his clothes, but mostly because I was naked and covered in bubbles. But he just started cracking up and dancing right along. He was humming a familiar tune. Poorly, I might add, but, hey, we can't _all_ be as multi-talented as me. Soon, I picked up on the song.

I began singing, trying to do my best Gene Wilder impersonation, "Come with meee... and you'll beeee... in a world of pure imagination. Take a look... and you'll see... into your imagination."

He was laughing so hard, I swear I saw tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "You're going to slip. What the heck are you doing?"

I dipped him down, holding the small of his back firmly, trying not to drop him. I replied, in my best new age hippie voice, "Trying to maintain a positive attitude, man. See the light through all the darkness." I smiled, and continued singing, "We'll begin... with a spin... into a world of my creation. What we'll see... will defy explanation."

"You're definitely still a goofball. That makes me happy." He said, smiling back. I pulled him back up, and he said, "And Willy Wonka, you remember."

"I figured it still had to be one of your favorites. That could never change." I replied, throwing a towel on. "Plus, you were humming it."

"Was I?" He asked, not realizing. "Well, thanks for getting me all wet."

"No problem. Apparently, it's one of my skills." I replied, with a joking wink to the underlying sexual connotation with that last exchange.

He then went to change as I did the same, and he showed me to my new room. That sounded so weird. _My_ new room in Adam Copeland's house. Probably something that most people would have fantasized of. He opened the door and the bed was huge, looked comfy, but not too worn in. Nice wooden floors that the moonlight reflected off of, which looked beautiful. One whole wall was glass viewing out onto a balcony, where you could see the ocean. An acoustic guitar sat in the corner, its strings looked broken in, the body polished. Someone took care of that one. The walls were a pale blue, much like our friend Jay's eyes, and I somewhat wondered if there was a significance. But then I noticed a bunch of cans of different colored paint sitting on the floor.

"Thanks again for all if this. I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but..."

"Yeah, you are. Quit it." He said, "For real, though, you don't have to thank me anymore. I'm just happy to have another guy around the house to talk to. I love Ren, but it's hard only being around a female all day."

I laughed, "Yeah, I get that... Well, you can tell me not to say it all you want, but I'm going to. It's them southern boy good manners."

He smiled, shaking his head slightly, "Yeah, you're going to drive me nuts with that."

"Probably! But you asked for it." I replied with a cheesy grin. "So, what's with the paint? You want me to Hardy-fy it in here too?" I asked and he nodded, looking around the room much like I did a blank canvas. It looked like he wanted a change; I just wasn't sure he knew what he was getting himself into asking me to do it. "But it's your house!"

"So what? Go for it. It's going to be awesome. I already know it... Besides, I could always rent out the room later. You know how many girls would pay me a thousand dollars just to sleep in the same bed 'Jeff freaking Hardy' did for just one night? I'd make a fortune off your gorgeous ass." He joked, sticking his tongue out at me.

Wait, did he just call me 'gorgeous'? Hmm... not a word he's used before. Cute, pretty... maybe hot? Sure. But never gorgeous.

"What's sad is that's true. You probably could make millions." I said, sitting down onto said bed, with a sigh, "And what's even sadder... is, a while ago, I might have actually believed you would do that."

He sat down across from me, "Really? That makes _me_ sad, man. I wouldn't do that shit to you. I'm not _that_ much of a money-hungry prick."

My cheeks instantly blushed, recognizing the wording and where it came from. "Oh shit, I _did_ call you that before, huh?" It was a couple years ago, right after Matt and Adam's feud started over Amy. I caught up with him in the locker room one night...

* * *

I was standing backstage, gathering my thing to go back to the hotel. Matt had left awhile ago, pretty exhausted and not wanting to wait for me to get ready. I didn't take that long, I swear! But he had been pretty easily irritable lately after what happened with him and his girlfriend. He was a shell of the Matty I used to know, being his first major love loss. But to lose her to a friend like that?

That's when Adam walked in... How could he have done that to my brother? Him and Amy were going through some things, sure, but that didn't mean swoop up on her like a hyena on some dying animal. And I hated how smug he acted afterwards, flaunting her around like his trophy kill after he'd stuffed and mounted her. But then again, that's kinda what Adam was turning into now. He didn't care who he had to fuck over, or fuck it seemed, to get to the top. Every semblance of the Adam I knew was slipping away. Part of me even wondered if he did all these things just to add ratings to the show in a slump, and I _hated_ that I felt that way.

And I _really_ hated that I couldn't seem to trust him or even be friends with Adam now. Mostly because of who he was changing into, but somewhat also because of the fact that Matt would be so freakin' angry with me if I was. And I couldn't do that to my brother. But it is so unfair that just because Matt and him have a falling out that now I couldn't even talk to the guy. He didn't fuck _my_ girlfriend, after all. Not that I know of, that is.

But maybe if I could talk to him... Maybe I could get him to see...

"What's up, Jeff?" He asked me.

"Leave me alone, Copeland." I replied, coldly.

"Well, what the hell did I do to _you_?" He asked, with a smirk. I looked at his face harder then. No, no remorse. It didn't seem like he even cared I was mad at him. He just seemed amused by it, which only feuled the fire.

"You didn't have to do anything to me, Adam! You had Matt's heart broken, and I got stuck to pick up the fucking pieces. Now I've got to try and put that son of a bitch back together and get it working again! You didn't just ruin _his_ life, man. You ruined _all_ of ours! The four of us... you, Jay, Matt and me... we could have took on _anything_. We all had a good thing going. And you ruined it to get your dick wet." I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder. I was heading for the door, when I turned and added, "You're not my friend anymore. You're barely _you_ anymore. All you give a fuck about is the gold. Well, guess what, _Edge_... it isn't real. So, I don't want to be around you if this is how you're going to be. You're just turning into a money hungry prick... Goodbye, Adam."

The look on his eyes was sadness, betrayal, anger, embarassment... Seemed ironic, didn't it? Considering that's what he was making everyone else feel around him. Especially me. I was so sad that this is what it came down to. That everything familiar was stripped away. Betrayed by all the promises we'd be best friends forever. That we would have insanely long careers, and all live in some wrestler retirement community when we grew old. Angry that my brother had been the one hurt in all of this mess. That anyone would ever voluntarily choose to hurt my brother.

But most of all, embarrassed that, deep down, I wish he'd fucked _me_ instead of Amy.

Why'd you have to do this, you fucking asshole? Don't you even understand how much this hurts... how much I'll miss you?

* * *

"I'm _so_ fucking sorry for that, man. I was just _so_ angry and I have a tendency to say what I think will hurt the most in those situations. I didn't mean it, I..."

"No. You don't have to apologize. You _were_ right." He said, looking down at his hands, almost ashamed, "I was becoming money hungry, not caring who I had to step on along the way. And I was starting to hate myself for what I was turning into. I got to the point I couldn't look at my reflection because I was disgusted with who I saw staring back at me. That's why I saw my retirement almost as a blessing, after awhile. I didn't have to be _that guy_ anymore. I could finally find out who Adam was again, not just Edge."

"Yeah, I guess I'm lucky there. I'm always just me, no matter what. I didn't have to make a separate persona to constantly fight with."

"Yeah, and I always really envied you for that, you know? I wish I had the balls you do, to not give a fuck about what people think or what the consequences will be. I wish I had the passion you have, never fearing where you'll land, you just jump. And most of those times, you get the best out of it just because you actually tried and everyone else chickened out. You just went for it. God, I _wish_ I could be half the person you are sometimes." He said, putting his hand on my forearm, "That's why I know you're going to get through all this, man. You're so fucking strong."

"I don't feel strong right now." I said, looking up into his eyes with tears in mine. I wish I could see myself the way he did. What he said was so beautiful, I couldn't help but let it get me emotional. If only it was true.

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. I was crying _again_. Getting his shirt all wet _again_. Yet, I didn't care. Right now, I was just so physically and emotionally exhausted that I needed this. The closeness, the warmth of someone to hold onto. He began rubbing my back as my breath became hard to catch through sobs. He did this, just held me, rubbing my back until my breathing slowed, finally calming back to normal. The tears began to cease. I think I was even too tired to cry now too.

I expected him to pull back, to release me when he felt me ease back to normal, but he didn't. We sat there for what felt like hours but, in reality, was probably just a few minutes, listening to eachother breathe. His hand had trailed into my wifebeater somehow and was running up and down my ribcage, his fingers dipping between the grooves and tracing the shape of them under my skin lightly. I was clutching his shoulder at first, but slowly ran my hand up and began playing with the small hairs at the nape of his neck, loving the content sigh and small tremble that came when I did.

I didn't know _what_ was happening. All I knew was that I hadn't been held like this in months, and it hadn't felt like this in years. I came here to rekindle a friendship, but it seemed we woke up something a lot deeper than that. Was it always there or was this something new? I wasn't sure, I just knew it _was_ there, creating this burning electricity between us that couldn't be denied. Was he feeling it too? Is that why he wasn't pulling back? Did it feel as _right_ to him as it did to me?

He then moved slightly, resting his forehead against mine. Our eyes met and I knew then he was feeling exactly what I was. Desire, a yearning to test whatever this was... this newfound connection we both discovered. We were moving closer, so close I could feel his breath heavy on my face, as it mixed with mine. I darted my tongue out to wet my lips, and grazed his in the process, causing a shiver to run up my spine.

"Adam..." I whispered, desperately. He didn't answer, just pressed his lips to mine.


	4. Chapter 4

I barely got a tease of his lips before he sprang up from the bed, heading nervously toward the door. What the hell? We were having a pretty significant moment there! What was wrong?

"Oh shit! Why did I do that? Why the _hell_ did I do that?" He repeated to himself, as he began pacing back and forth.

"You understand how someone might take offense to that after being kissed, right?" I asked. "What's the problem? I thought I was _gorgeous."_

I thought trying to take the mood to a lighthearted level would get him to calm down some, but it didn't. He just stopped, staring at me with reddened cheeks from blush and arousal, and wide, concerned eyes, "You are! That's not the problem."

"So what _is?"_ I asked.

"You just had two _major_ seizures, Jeff! _That's_ the problem! Your mind is probably only working, at _best,_ fifty percent of normal right now. What I just did is the equivalent of a guy giving a girl a bunch of beer at a party so he could feel her up. _That's_ what the problem is. That's not okay! You don't fully know what you're doing right now... Oh my god, I just took total advantage of you!" He yelled, freaking out, resuming his tread in the floor. "God, I'm such an idiot!"

I got up, giggling slightly. Was he seriously feeling _this_ guilty over that little 'not even a kiss' kiss? I went over to him, grabbing him firmly by the shoulders to stop him. Well, as well was my one hand could grab through the wrist brace. I looked him deeply in the eye, and said, "Hey, you weren't doing anything I haven't wanted you to do since the first time I saw you." He searched my eyes for any hint, any semblance of truth in what I had said. I wasn't lying and I think he _knew_ I wasn't lying, but he was still too afraid that he was taking advantage of me in an impaired state.

I appreciated the white knight routine and all, but this was nuts! If he was going to feel guilty, it shouldn't be because of just _that._ That was barely a kiss... a _ghost_ of a kiss!

"Well, if you're going to be beating yourself up over something, I'm not going to let it be over _that."_ I said, as I grabbed the back of his head and smashed his lips to mine, making sure I actually _felt_ them this time. I'd only been dreaming about them, off and on, for twenty years or so. But I got to say, they lived up to fantasy.

He was stiff at first, not sure whether he should proceed, but soon gave in. I turned my head, deepening it almost immediately after. I had one hand wrapped in his golden locks and the other injured hand on the small of his back, drawing mindless patterns on his skin that made him quiver in delight. His hands had trailed up the back of my shirt, and I was finding that my ribs seemed to be a new favorite place of his. It was then I felt his tongue asking for entrance and I granted it eagerly. I definitely was feeling that chunk out of my tongue right now, but I didn't care. This was _too_ good for a little pain to ruin it.

I wanted to take this farther. To see if this new spark would catch fire. But I _knew_ there probably was something in Adam's insanely over-careful thinking that was probably right in all this. I was still pretty spaced out and maybe right now wasn't the best time for decision making. But that was just it... I knew I wanted to continue down this road. I just knew I hadn't really done the cautious route in a relationship before. I handled every relationship like I did everything else. I went in full-force, balls to the wall, two hundred percent. Now that I was going to have to take things a bit more on the reserved route in my everyday life, maybe I should take things slower here.

So, I broke the kiss, placing soft ones on his jaw and shoulder, before placing my head down there. This was beginning to become _my_ new favorite place. Just here in his arms.

"Why'd you do that, Jeff?" He asked, almost breathlessly, pulling back to look into my eyes. It didn't _look_ like I had made a mistake. So why was he asking? Was I reading this wrong?

"Because, you said it yourself... I go for it. You don't have the balls to."

"And I'm glad you did." He said, giving me a sigh of relief. "Just... I wasn't expecting that. And I was definitely expecting a little more out of myself than 'Oh, here's your room. Let's make out in it!'. I don't even know what your favorite song is anymore and I'm sticking my tongue down your throat. We haven't even got to talk and catch up yet really."

"And we have time for that." I said, "But you can't deny, Adam, from the moment you walked into that hospital room, there was this new spark between us we'd both never felt before. Magnetic. Intense. I mean, I've always been attracted to you, but it's never felt like _this._ And I want to find out what this is."

"I do too." He said, smiling. "And, yeah, I won't deny I _have_ felt that spark. It _did_ hit me the second I opened that door and saw you... But, we can't take this too fast, though. Not with all you're dealing with right now."

"I was just thinking the same, actually." I said, putting my head back on his shoulder with a content sigh. "God, I'm so glad I came here already."

He ran his fingers through my hair, and replied, "I am too... Now, c'mon, babe. We'll start figuring out everything tomorrow. You need to rest."

"I have one more thing to ask, if it's not too much..." he nodded, as I looked back up into his eyes, "Will you... will you stay here with me tonight? I'm still kind of scared about all this. I don't want to have a seizure in my sleep and be alone. You know, as much as I _say_ I want to be alone right now, I don't... I need you. Please?"

He placed a strand of hair behind my ear, smiling widely, as he said, "Sure. Anything you want." He kissed me, softly, before taking ahold of my wrist, the one without a brace, and leading me to the bed.

We curled up next to eachother, my head on his chest and I was instantly content. And although my body taking a beating today had a factor in it, I'm sure, sleep had never come as easy as it did then.

The next morning, Adam was still asleep next to me. He looked so content, I didn't want to disturb him. So I tried to get up as quietly as I could and sneak to the bathroom to do my normal morning routine. If only _that_ were possible...

My muscles were on _fire._ Everything ached and felt weak. _Man,_ I thought it was bad yesterday. And my _head!_ Oh my _god!_ It was pounding like Triple H had just hit me with a sledgehammer. My lip was slightly swollen today from where I'd bit it. My tongue ached like crazy. My leg almost gave out on me and I had to catch myself on the nightstand. Well, as good as I could one handed so I didn't injure my sprained wrist any more than it was. I looked back, worried I had woke Adam up, but he just snored and rolled over to his side, drifting back off to sleep. Man, I was lucky.

I felt like doing something nice for Adam to make up for all of this, so I decided to let him rest and go make breakfast. I went down the stairs to the kitchen, finding Ren at the table. She had already made coffee, which I was grateful for. Hopefully, it could help my headache.

I poured myself a cup and sat down across from her. I figured now was a good time as any to start to get to know her. After our good mornings and normal pleasantries, I had asked her what Adam's favorite breakfast was and started making it. Once I got into the swing of things cooking, I got down to what I'd wanted to ask.

"So, what did you want to do before you had your first seizure? Like, what was your life plan?"

She thought about it and smiled at the memory, "Actually, I wanted to be a pro wrestler when I was a teenager. When Adam and Jay started, I was about thirteenth, and that was my goal since then, to join them. But then I had my first one on my eighteenth birthday..."

"Your birthday?" I asked, shocked at the horrible luck.

"Yeah, but that's a _whole_ 'nother story... After that, I wanted to be a parody writer, like the female Weird Al or something. I thought if I couldn't make people happy wrestling, I could with music. I love making people laugh." She answered.

"Well, what happened to _that?"_ I asked.

"Falling out with my best friend, she was my writing partner. After she left, I was by myself. No other friends to fall back on and I didn't have it on my own." She said, "Besides, after my first seizure, I fell hard into drugs. Nothing too major- mostly ecstasy, some coke, whatever hallucinogenic I could get my hands on. And _lots_ of drinking. From that and all the vomiting in the mornings, I basically destroyed my throat and my sinuses. Sucks, because I had a _beautiful_ voice at one point."

"She really did." I heard a voice behind me say, before feeling his arms around my waist, "It's not _bad_ now. I mean, she can still beat most of those American Idol chicks, but it's not like it used to be... Mmmm, morning, babe." He added, his face now in my neck, planting kisses.

"Oh, you lucky bastard!" She exclaimed toward Adam, to which we both laughed and separated. "Man, you get _all_ the ones I used to have a crush on. What's up with _that?"_ Okay, awkward. I'll just ignore that. I _did_ have to cook, anyway.

"Oh, geez. _Sorry,_ Ren." He said, sarcastically. "Anyway, I thought you and Jay were...?"

Her eyes got huge and she stayed quiet for a minute, before a whisper could barely be heard from her direction. "Oh, shit. You _know_ about that?" She asked.

"Please, you know he can't hide shit from _me!_ He told me last time he was here and we drank that Jager. Oh, not to mention, I _heard_ y'all in the pool house." He replied, as he saw the contents of the frying pans, and his face lit up. "Ooh, pancakes and bacon! You're the best, babe." He said, kissing my cheek, and then going and pouring himself some coffee.

I was just about finished with breakfast before I started asking Ren questions again. I figured I should find out as much as I could. And Adam told me she wouldn't mind.

"So, when was your last seizure?" I asked her.

"At the convenience store down the street this morning." She answered.

"What the fuck? You _know_ you're not supposed to leave without at least _telling_ me! What happened? Are you okay?" Adam yelled, obviously upset.

"It's alright, Addy. I'm okay. Those new pills are working. This was just an absent one, anyway."

"Absent? Grand maal? Petit? How many different kinds _are_ there?" I asked,

"A few. Those are the three most common types though." She said, "Well, today, I got stuck at the ATM and didn't know how to use it. Smacking my lips, talking gibberish... same old, same old. Luckily those guys know me and know not to call 911 or anything. Although most people thought I was a crazy lady and kept trying... But hey, at least I didn't piss myself in white shorts! Your pros and cons, I guess... Then I wandered around the store for about twenty minutes before I could remember my PIN and what I went there for. Fuck, I'm lucky I must have really needed a cigarette, though, otherwise I would have just left. And _that_ could have been a hundred times worse."

I have to admit, when Adam said her stories might 'scare' me, I didn't think he actually meant 'terrify the living shit out of'. What if _that_ happened to me? No offense to her, but it's not like anyone knows Ren... not like people know me. If people saw me _that_ vulnerable in public somewhere, saw me at an ATM zoned out like that, I could be totally _screwed._

"Why didn't you come _get_ me before you left?" Adam asked.

"I tried! Why weren't you in _your_ room, huh?" She retorted.

"Ooh, busted!" I said, laughing slightly at the situation.

"Hey, I don't have to answer to _you!"_ He exclaimed to her.

"Well, aren't you asking _me_ to answer to _you?_ How's _that_ fair?" She replied.

They kind of argued like me and Matt. It made me miss home a little bit. I missed morning cups of coffee with Shane, waiting for Matt and Shannon to come down bitching about their hangovers. I missed sitting on the porch with my dad, talking about life. I missed it _all,_ but... I really liked what was starting here and how comfortable I already was. And maybe those wonderful memories I missed about home were about to be replaced by something so much better here. Who knew? I just know I wanted to find out.


	5. Chapter 5

Adam left for awhile, having to go audition for a few shows that were coming up. He said he'd be back in a few hours, so I decided to do something while he was gone... and I wasn't sure how Adam would feel about. When I quit prescription pills, I started using marijuana as a pain reliever. Well, that was what the edibles were for, like brownies, candy, and stuff like that. They took away the body pain. I smoked weed for the anti-anxiety effect I used to get from pills like xanax. And I _really_ didn't want to go back on xanax.

Alot of people don't understand how this is helping me. They think it's just trading one addiction for another, but I think it's something that was put here on this planet to help us. Unlike those man-made chemicals that were created and eventually enslaved a good majority of us...

Okay, _that_ sounded a bit 'conspiracy nutjob' even to me, but you can't deny that the misuse of prescriptions is a big problem in our country. I know it was for me and a lot of other wrestlers. I'm just lucky I stopped before my loved ones had to bury me too.

I grabbed my stuff and went out to the balcony. I picked out some music on my phone, packed a small bowl, and laid back in the lawn chair, ready to relax. I got a few hits in when I heard the door to the balcony slide open. I sat up quickly, looking over to see Ren sitting down in the chair next to me.

"Hey, sorry to bother you, but you weren't answering your door. Had to check and see if you were okay." She said.

"Oh shoot, sorry about that. Couldn't hear you. I must have had the music too loud." I said, trying to hide the weed pipe between my leg and the side of the chair.

"It's cool. I'm just really glad that you weren't having a seizure. To be completely honest, I've never been on that side of the situation before... having to take care of someone while _they_ have one." She said.

"Are you nervous? To see what it's like?" I asked.

"I can't lie... yeah, I am. But maybe it'll help me appreciate what Adam does for me more. I know that's what broke me and Frankie up. And I don't want that to fuck up me and Jay either... although I never see his ass." She replied.

_Oh man_! I never thought about what it would be like to see a seizure happening. I knew she had them, that's one of the main reasons I came, but... holy crap, that's going to be unnerving. And from what I'm told, hers can be worse. Sometimes _alot_ worse, from what I can tell about that scar on her forehead. I've still been kind of scared to ask about that.

She paused the conversation for a second, twiddling her fingers on her knees, before adding, "So... you gonna let me hit that or what?"

"Huh?"

"That stanky dank you're trying to hide over there. I've got some to match, man, don't worry." She said, pulling a joint out from behind her ear that was completely hidden by the mohawk. I was kind of shocked, but also relieved that she was okay with it. And not only okay with it, she smoked too. And I've found smoking together was a good way to open up and get to know eachother, so I was looking forward to that, as well.

Which is what we did for the next hour or so, both picking out our favorite songs to listen to and learning a lot of different things. She told me about how she grew up with her and Adam's grandmother because her parents were on heroin. How Adam was so much older but always treated her like a sister growing up; he even went and threatened to beat up the first boy to break her heart, but he couldn't _really_ because he was so much older. How they practically took Jay in because his mom was a drunk and that's why her and Jay always got along so well, because they had addict parents. And how they wanted to date for a long time but didn't because of the age difference.

I told her all about my mom and that battle with cancer. How our whole family was so great in helping us through it, especially when I was so young. How I lied about my age to the WWE and got through my first few jobber matches when I was only 16. The first time I met Adam and he was complaining to Shane about coming up through the fire with The Brood, because it kept singeing his hair... And I was in the middle of a very interesting story about Adam's 24th birthday, when he wanted to "go all Coyote Ugly on some motherfuckers" and Jay and I kept having to stop him from dancing on top of bars, when I heard the balcony door slide open.

Ren's laughing stopped and she said, excitedly, "Hey, cuz! What's the buzz!? How did you do?"

Adam smiled and replied, "Good, I'll be going back for the next round."

I was thrilled for the good news. I knew Adam was loving that he could fall back into acting now that his wrestling career was over, but also I was so happy he was back at the house. I clapped my hands together, excitedly, and stretched my arms out toward him, exclaiming, "Baby, you're home!"

He smiled, leaned down and kissed me, saying, "Hey, babe. How are you feeling today?"

"Really sore, but it's a different kind of sore than I'm used to. It feels more like when I got into that car accident than like how I feel after a match. Kind of weird, but... good otherwise." I said, before grabbing him and squeezing him tightly, adding, "I am definitely better now that you're here though."

He laughed, shaking his head, before turning to Ren and asking, "How fucked up did you get him?"

"Get _him_?" she asked, "Please, his shit is _way_ better than mine."

"Really?" He asked, grabbing the pipe from Ren's hand. He looked at it questioningly, before shrugging and taking a hit, handing it back to her. "Eh, not bad."

_Holy crap_! Adam smokes? Another thing I didn't know about him. And another thing I didn't know we had in common. Well, marijuana was more widely acceptable now than back in the day, so I guess it's only understandable that more people use it. However, despite his persona on TV and a few good drunk stories, Adam was a real goodie-two-shoes, so it was _pretty_ hard to envision before now. I almost thought that I was daydreaming.

I grabbed the belt loop on his jeans and pulled him down into my lap, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face in his hair. He scooted sideways so his back was against the arm of the chair instead of my chest and threw his arm around my neck, intercepting the pipe again as Ren passed it back to me.

"Not your turn." She said.

"Well, I gotta catch up!" He replied, "So, what else did I miss?"

"You're pretty much looking at it." I said, "Showing eachother pictures, telling eachother stories... you know, the norm."

"Yeah, I heard you telling her that Coyote Ugly story. Thank you for that." He said, sarcastically. I started laughing hysterically at that, gaining a slight blush to his cheeks, before he added, "You think _that's_ funny? Maybe I should tell her that My Little Pony story of yours."

My laughing stopped, my eyes widened, and my breath hitched, getting stuck in my throat... God, _anything_ but the My Little Pony story. "How _dare_ you!" I exclaimed, snatching the pipe from him.

Ren started laughing at that, as well, to which Adam replied, "Oh, don't _you_ start either. I can always tell him about the piano recital."

"Ooh. What happened at the piano recital? Even _I_ don't know that story." A voice came from the door. All our eyes immediately turned to that direction and we saw Jay. Ren jumped up and threw her arms around his neck, kissing all over his face, happily. Jay laughed, before kissing her deeply, a moan escaping both of their lips instantly.

Adam sighed, turning to me and asking, "God. Do you _see_ what I've been dealing with?"

"We were hiding it from you. How were you 'dealing' with it?" She asked.

"I told you earlier, you weren't that good at hiding it."

Jay smacked Adam on the back of the head, and sat down, pulling Ren into his lap. "Oh, shut up." He exclaimed, before pointing between him and I, "So, when did _this_ finally happen?"

" _Finally_? You mean people have been waiting for it?" I asked.

"Are you kidding?" Jay asked, "Mark and Glenn owe me a hundred bucks each. They both bet that you'd get together when you and your brother first started WWE. I told them that you were way too blind and Adam was too much of a wuss to go for it. It would take years. I didn't think it'd be _twenty_ , but..."

Wow. Twenty years they've waited? That's insane. That kind of puts a lot of pressure on us. Then again, from what I've heard, him and Ren have been waiting to get together for about the same amount of time. I could kind of understand what hesitated them to go for it. He is a lot older than her and they've known eachother since she was a kid. It would be very awkward to make that transition, no matter _what_ the feelings were.

But then, I wondered... if everyone could see this relationship forming so long ago... why couldn't Adam and I? Was I really just _too_ blind? There wasn't anything else really stopping us. He's only a few years older than me and we had pretty similar likes and dislikes. It was nothing like the couple sitting across from us.

However, my attraction to Adam has always been there, like I've told him before. I just really didn't think it would turn into anything. So, I guess I _was_ blind... But to know that people have seen this relationship forming _decades_ ago? I could only imagine what it could be now if we had done something about it then.

We sat and caught up with Jay for a while longer before he and Ren left to go spend some alone time together. It was nice to catch up with him. I knew he retired a little while ago but I was curious as to what he was doing afterwards. It turned out he was doing some new show for the history channel called 'Knight Fight', which sounded totally awesome.

But as nice as it was to see Jay, it was _really_ nice to have some alone time together with Adam now, as well. It was strange. I had the new couple mentality with him... where I wanted him to be around me all the time and I couldn't get enough of him. But at the same time, it already felt so established, because we'd known eachother literally our whole adult lives. And as scary as that was, I was really starting to love it, because it made this relationship so unique and so exciting.

He was still on my lap and turned to straddle me the second they left, giving me light kisses, slowly gaining intensity. Soon, he was biting and sucking at my neck, causing me to moan in appreciation.

"Can you believe people saw something between us _so_ long ago?" I asked.

He pulled back, replying, "Well, we have a lot of time to make up for then... now, don't we?"

"Most definitely." I replied, smacking his ass and pulling his mouth back to mine. It started to become more heated, feverish. He began grinding down into me, causing moans to escape both our lips. But it wasn't too long before we were interrupted.

Jay ran out of the downstairs sliding door and yelled up to us, "Guys! She's having one! She's hurt!"

Adam looked at me with terror in his eyes. He got up quickly and looked over the balcony. Then, he did something I wasn't sure I was seeing... he jumped over the side.


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

_Holy crap!_ Did that _really_ just happen? Did he _really_ just jump? I ran toward the railing, praying that I wouldn't see a gruesome sight when I looked down. I mean, that had to be a 15 foot drop! But, luckily, he was climbing down a trellace and had jumped a few feet from the ground. My heart instantly settled before remembering why he jumped in the first place. _Ren._

My heart began racing again, as I ran through the bedroom and down the stairs as fast as I could. I reached the living room to see both of them rolling her from her side to her back, and she seemed to be coming to. I couldn't see her face too well, but I could hear the groans of pain and some strange gurgling sounds.

"Hurry up! Let's sit her up before she chokes!" Jay exclaimed.

"Is she okay?" I asked.

But as she sat up, I knew it wasn't great. She had blood running down from her mouth and I noticed her lip was vaguely reminding me of Mick Foley's infamous smile at the Hell in the Cell. She had bitten completely through it and I also saw that her ankle was swelling rapidly. That was a bad sprain and her ankle might get trapped in that fabric if they didn't remove it quickly.

"Her left foot's swelling! Get her shoe off!" I yelled, and Jay began struggling with it, already a challenge to take off.

"She needs to go to the hospital, guys. I gotta call 911." Adam said, grabbing his phone from his pocket.

"No!" She yelled, grabbing his arm.

It was like she had come to for a second and went back into a foggy state right after. Jay grabbed both of her hands and was trying to get her to focus. Her gaze was fluctuating still, it seemed. It reminded me almost of a radio station that came in and out when you moved the antenna around. It was frightening the way he called her nickname and it seemed like she hadn't heard him at all, but when he shouted _"Lorencia!",_ she looked at him with wide eyes and yelled back, _"What!?"._

"Pissing her off with that usually works in getting her focus back. Don't know why." He whispered to me, before he turned and began talking to her, gently, like a parent explaining why their daughter needed to get a shot at the doctor's office. He said, "I know you hate this shit, babe. But... I'm pretty sure you resprained your ankle. Also, your lip is fucked; I think you bit all the way through this time, okay? So, we need to get you some stitches, but I'll do whatever I can to make sure that the doctors aren't gonna be dicks to you, alright?"

She looked at him, eyes brimming with fear, and asked with a voice so small and childlike, "You promise?"

"I promise, baby." He replied, kissing her forehead gently.

"Yes, this _is_ Edge! And Christian's girlfriend just had a seizure!... Umm, _hello!_ This is _9-1-fucking-1,_ right? It's an emergency! So hurry the _fuck_ up or I'll have Vince McMahon _sue_ every single motherfucker in your company, you got it?" Adam yelled furiously as he came back in from the kitchen, throwing his phone angrily on the couch. "God, I _hate_ people sometimes! I told the guy my name and he recognized it. He wanted to started asking _me_ a whole bunch of questions! I'm not calling you for _me,_ dude! Do your job!"

"No, no, no!" Jay yelled, bringing my focus back to the task at hand as he was pulling her hands away from her face. She had rubbed her nose with her palm, like a small kid itching their nose during allergy season, but doing so, had spread blood all over her face. He grabbed her hand and pulled it down, but she forced it away from him and rubbed her nose again before scratching her forehead, spreading that blood around even more.

Now she was trying to get up, but he and Adam began attempting to hold her down as best they could. It almost looked like she had greased herself up or something, because she could slip her arms out of any hold they tried to put on her. It must have been the copious amounts of sweat pouring from her. Adam finally got her down again and was _trying_ to explain to her she was hurt, but she didn't want to hear it. Or maybe she just _couldn't._ Whatever it was, she was determined to get up.

"No, no. I got to punch the handle or it won't flop." She said to them. And they both groaned, heads falling backward in defeat. "You need to smile the penguin, Smokey! Punch the handle! Punch the handle!"

"Oh shit, not _this_ again." Jay said, with an exasperated sigh.

"I think I'll go outside and wait for the ambulance." I said, not sure if anyone heard me. Besides, they both were doing okay... not _well,_ mind you... but _okay_ at maintaining composure. And I didn't think they wanted to see me freaking out.

What the _hell_ was she saying? Punch the handle? Smile the penguin? Was that some kind of code between them? Or did she think that she was saying different words than she really was? I think it had to be the latter, because they both seemed to know _what_ was happening, but definitely not what she was saying.

I ran down to the gate and opened it, pulling a cigarette out of my pack and lighting it as I reached the street. I could hear the siren faintly in the distance, but it was coming fast. Adam was in a remote neighborhood as well, so it might take them awhile to find it. Thank god for GPS now or it might be longer. He told me he shared this cul-de-sac with only a couple people - a basketball player and the new wife he had every year, and a former channel four weather girl who, he _said,_ was barely there due to her many stints in rehab. He lived in between, but luckily for him on normal occurrences and _unluckily_ in this situation, all houses had very long driveways and his was the farthest from the road.

When I saw the truck approaching, I began waving them in. I threw my cig to the ground as they turned down the driveway, and I stomped it out as I ran behind them, eager to see how Ren was now. As I made it to the house, they were pushing their way inside, as Adam was trying to make his way out. He definitely looked distraught, so I walked up to him and threw my arms around him.

He melted into the hug, and laid his head on my shoulder. "She hasn't done _that_ in a while. The 'not knowing what she's saying' thing? She used to do that a lot and sometimes would get stuck in that gibberish for a half hour almost. It sucks because she gets _so_ frustrated, which makes us _so_ frustrated. Most of the time she's asking for a cigarette or some clean clothes, but we have no clue because there's no way to tell what she means."

"That sounds like it can be difficult, for sure. And it's definitely scary to see." I said, before asking, "Have I done that yet?"

He looked up at me, "No. And it doesn't mean you ever will either. Like I've said, everyone's seizures are very different."

I could see the worry in his eyes. He was scared for his cousin, and he felt remorse that his best friend was dealing with the pain of the woman he loved going through this. And now, he always had the fear in the back of his mind, that the man he cared about was most likely going to have this happen to him this one day too. I couldn't help but feel guilty that I had added so much weight to his shoulders.

I grabbed the side of his face and looked into his eyes, "She's going to be okay. It's just a couple stitches and a sprain. And she stays off of her feet most of the time, anyway." I joked, which earned a faint smile. "So, she'll be alright in no time. You _don't_ have to worry."

"Yeah, you're right. I know." He said, "I just can't help it. If it's someone I love, my worry level gets cranked all the way up to eleven."

They began wheeling her out on the stretcher and Jay followed behind. She was laying back, looking depressed about having to go. Jay had pulled his phone out and was trying to take pictures of her lip, while she flung her hands up in a desperate attempt to block her face.

"Knock it _off,_ douche waste!" She yelled, as he laughed and took more pictures. Well, at least she was _somewhat_ fine again.

"Sir, we're going to have to ask you to refrain..." one of the EMT's began, as they all got into the ambulance.

"Want us to follow?" Adam asked Jay, as he began stepping inside, following the others.

"Eh. It should only be a few hours." He said. "We should be alright. We'll catch an uber or something."

"Ok, but keep me in the loop, alright?" Adam asked and he nodded as the doors got closed behind him.

They took off and we walked down to close the gate. Adam's arms were draped lazily around my left arm, and his head laid on my shoulder again, as best it could from his awkward angle. As crazy as the last thirty minutes or so had been, it seemed like time slowed down a little now and we could finally relax again.

As we turned back toward the house, I couldn't help but point out, jokingly, "You said the operator guy was going all 'super fan' on you, right?"

"Yeah, he was _really_ annoying." He replied. "Why?"

"Well, didn't you _have_ to give him your address?" I asked, and he stopped immediately in his tracks.

He turned around and jogged back to the gate putting the chain and lock on it again, before coming back toward me. "I was _going_ to leave it open for them, but now you got me all paranoid about stalkers. Thanks, babe!" He said.

"No problem!" I replied, sarcastically. After a minute, I said, "Oh, you _know_ you can't really get Vince to sue that guy either, right?"

"Maybe _you_ can't." He smiled, and winked at me.

We went back in and decided to stay in the living room to wait for them, especially since someone's going to have to let them in the gate now. He turned on the television but it didn't really matter what was on. I think the recent events had exhausted us both, and we were too tired to pay attention at the moment, so I collapsed onto the couch and he laid down on top of me. I yawned as my hand went through his hair and he nuzzled into my neck. It wasn't long before we both fell asleep. I just hoped that Ren was okay and would be home soon.


	7. Chapter 7

When I woke up some time later, I was alone on the couch. I guess Adam had woken up and put that purple blanket over me. I heard some movement in the room above me, so I slowly got up from the couch, seeing as I was still stiff from the seizures I'd had, and went upstairs to find him. When I did, he was pacing back and forth, phone in hand, with a very irritated look on his face.

He still hadn't noticed me enter the room. I could tell he was upset, tugging at his hair, fists clenched tightly, but I knew what was wrong, so it was stupid to ask. I was going to walk up and wrap my arms around him, hopefully soothing his anger some, but he began screaming, "Listen, she doesn't want any damn surgery! What are you assholes _not_ understanding about that!?"

I couldn't help but get worried for Ren in that moment. What were they talking about? Surgery!? I was told that she was more banged up than normal when she left, but I wasn't aware of anything that required surgery. Jesus, what the hell had they done to her?

"Because, you'd be cutting out a part of her _brain_ , asshole. That's why! You're talking about this surgery like it's getting your tonsils removed. This is a _major_ procedure and she doesn't want it. Do you understand that? Now, up her dose of medication, change her pills, maybe suggest some new holistic route than can help boost her chances of not having one... but she's _not_ getting brain surgery! Scrap that fucking idea, before I come down there and remove a part of _you_ that you'd still want there. You got me now, motherfucker!? Good!"

He threw his phone down in anger, and the screen instantly cracked into a million pieces. Which just made him more mad, tugging at his hair again in frustration. There were tears brimming his eyes when he turned around and saw me there. He softened instantly, and I walked over to him and threw my arms around his waist, pulling him toward me.

He just... broke. Sobbing immediately, his arms clutched around my shoulders so tightly that I could barely breathe and he was shaking, anger and despair vibrating off of him in horrible waves.

I waited until it seemed the tears had stopped and his breathing returned to normal before asking, "What the hell is going on?"

"They want to cut out the dead part of her brain, saying it's the only way to ensure these never happen again." he said, "I don't know shit about neurology or whatever, so for all I know, this could be the best decision for her. Maybe they are right, but... God! She just sounded so scared, Jeff! She said, 'What if I wake up and I'm a completely different person? What if I don't wake up at all?' I couldn't... oh god..."

He broke again briefly, but I erased the tears from his face as soon as they appeared. I didn't know what to say in situations like this. Hell, all of this was so new to me. Apparently, I didn't have to say anything though, because he soon calmed again just at my touch.

He grabbed my hand from his cheek and pressed his lips to my knuckles, before he continued, "And the fucking nurses are acting like this is no big deal. They didn't even want to _talk_ to me at first, because I wasn't immediate family. God _dammit,_ I should have just went with her. What if...?"

I cut him off with a small kiss, "Babe, listen to me. Jay is there for her. You trust him to do the right thing, right?"

"Yeah, but they don't want to tell him anything either, because he isn't her husband. Because apparently a ring is the only thing that makes a relationship relevant to them." he said.

I put my hand on his chin and forced his gaze to mine, "Let's go down there, then. No offense to Jay, but you are a lot better at getting what you want. If you have questions, you _will_ get those answers, am I right?"

"Yeah." he said, "But, are you sure you're up to it? What if something bad happens?"

"Hey, if I have one, we're already at the hospital, right? No worries." I smiled.

He kissed me, gently, his smile brightening his face as he said, "Thankyou for this, Jeff. Seriously."

"No problem." I smiled, "Go get the car warmed up and I'll get my shoes on."

Adam had quite an argument with the staff at the hospital. A few of the nurses knew who we were right away, and it helped a little bit in getting the answers we needed, but it was still a struggle. The doctor finally came and talked to him and Jay, but he basically had the same suggestion. As scary as it was, he said that Ren would need brain surgery eventually, that there were only so many close calls she could get. But both were adamant and said that it was her body and her choice.

"Well, I can't make her do it, but I hope she'll reconsider." the doctor said, before turning to Adam, "And as for you, you should become her official care taker so you can avoid all of these hurdles the next time."

"Or you can just marry her already." Adam said to Jay, jokingly, as the doctor chuckled and threw up his hands, as if to say 'I don't want to get involved with that one', and walked away. Jay obviously didn't get the joke, though, based on how quickly the color had left his face. Adam laughed slightly and threw his arm around his shoulders. "Don't worry, bro. I don't think she's expecting that any time soon."

"So, she'd be surprised then...?" Jay said, questioningly.

Adam got a huge smile on his face, before he stiffened, looked at him seriously and poked him in the chest, "You better not be fucking with me, dude."

Jay just smiled and shook his head that he wasn't. "I hate to say it like this, but... I don't know how much time that we have, so I want to make whatever time we _do_ have special."

"When are you going to do it?" I asked.

"Well, I have to leave for another taping on Sunday, so I was hoping some time before then. But I don't want her to remember it like this, all stitched up and stuff. But, then again, when am I ever going to get _that_ window of opportunity? She's always hurt."

"Hey, man. I know I don't know her very well, but I don't think she's going to care about a few stitches in her lip, honestly. No offense, but after that huge one on her head, this one seems like nothing." I replied.

"She doesn't hurt herself every single time or anything. Usually, she's just sore afterwards. That's why I was thinking maybe I should wait. You know, for one that's not so bad...? Plus, I don't want her to look back on it years from now and have done anything that'll make her mad at me. I want it to be a good memory, because I know she doesn't have too many of those."

"Or you're just chickening out, like always." Adam retorted.

"Whatever, man." Jay replied, "Why'd you guys even come down here anyway?"

"To annoy you." Adam replied, "No, just... when I heard something about brain surgery, I needed to be here to see what was happening."

"You mean, to take control of the situation."

"No, that's not what I..."

"You don't trust _me_ to be there for her." Jay said, cutting him off, before adding, "That's it, isn't it?"

"Maybe if you two hadn't been hiding it from me, like, forever!" Adam replied.

"It's only been a few weeks, man."

"A few weeks? You can't be _that_ blind, can you?" he asked Jay.

"What do you mean?"

"Please, dude! _Everyone_ , except you apparently, knows she has been in love with you since she was... what, eight years old? You have always been some kind of golden _god_ to her; I never understood it! But _you_... you've been in love with her since she was eighteen and you finally saw her as an adult. And you know exactly what I'm talking about too."

"No, Adam, I don't think I know to what you are referring. Why don't you enlighten me?" Jay replied, obviously annoyed.

"One of the first years we were working with the WWE, the tour just happened to land in Toronto for Ma's birthday. We stopped by and Ren was out in the back yard, barbequing. She was in this blue tank top and these ripped up, tiny jean shorts. I told you I thought she was going to catch her tits on fire, remember? Anyway, I caught you _literally_ drooling, bro. It was kind of pathetic." Adam said.

I just rolled my eyes and interjected, "Okay, Mary Kate and Ashley! Don't you think we should put this discussion off until later? I think we have more important things to worry about. Like, when can we take her home?"

"They still want to keep her for a few hours of observation, so who the hell knows?" Jay replied. "Listen, Adam... I got this. I'll get us a ride home. You two go and relax."

It took a little more persuasion, but Jay and I eventually convinced Adam to leave. I thought we were going to go back to the house, but he apparently had other plans. We ended up on a cliffside, on the hood of his car, staring off over the ocean. I couldn't deny it was romantic. I just never saw Adam Copeland as the 'romance' type. But here we were, wrapped up in each other's arms, kissing like we were each other's source of oxygen and we'd die if we separated. It was something you saw teenagers doing, not men our age.

Initially, we had come here because he said it was the place he came when he needed to be alone with just his thoughts for a while. And apparently, with Ren at his house now, he felt like his mind blocked itself there. Like, somehow, she magically knew everything he was thinking about and it made him self-conscious. So, he said he went for an aimless drive one day and found that place, and ever since then, it had been what he called his "thinking spot". Although I couldn't account for much thinking that we had done since _we_ got there.

At first, he ran to the edge of the cliff and screamed... just vented, getting out all of his frustrations. I pulled him closer to me, and kissed him softly, but he took over, frantically trying to lose himself within my lips. That's when we ended up on the hood of the car, making out, which was proving to be a nice distraction, but I quickly decided that Adam was going to need something to _properly_ get his mind off of everything and on to the good things happening right now.

I pushed his shoulders back and grabbed his arm, leading him to standing. I placed soft kisses up his jaw to his lips as I opened the back seat door, and pushed him backwards, laying him down. I was thinking about climbing on top of him but figured it would be too cramped, so I grabbed his hips and slid them down to the edge of the seat.

He sat halfway up, resting on his elbows and looking down at me, as my knees hit the gravel. He then sat up fully and I just somehow _knew_ he was about to protest what I was about to do, but I placed a finger over his lips and pushed him back down, with a devilish grin adorning my face.

I pushed his shirt up and kissed his chest, raking my teeth across his nipple, already hardened from the cold, night air. I lapped at it, softly, before moving down, blowing gently in his belly button. My hands went to his zipper and undid his pants quickly, kissing his hip and running my tongue along the edge of his groin muscle. I finally inched his jeans down enough so his cock sprang free from the denim, and I didn't waste any time to start working it in my hand slowly. When my tongue met the tip, his hips leapt from the seat slightly, and I couldn't help the smile on my face when it did.

His eyes were fixated on my face, as well as they could be through half-veiled lids, so desperately trying to memorize the way it looked when my tongue swirled around the head and I began taking his length in at an agonizing pace. I sucked my cheeks in when I finally felt him hit the back of my throat, and I sped up a bit, curling my tongue around the underside of his shaft. His head fell back onto the leather and a moan escaped his lips, and I then decided that was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my life and vowed that I would hear it as often as possible.

His fingers tangled in my hair as his moans grew louder. "Fuck, Jeff. So good. Faster... _please!_ "

His wish was my command.

When I increased the pace, he began panting and his hips tried to buck up into my mouth. My fingernails scraped along his hipbones as I forced him back down, but that just made them shoot up wildly again. I gagged when it happened, the back of my throat contracting around his tip and he nearly yelled out in pleasure.

"Babe, so close... 'bout to..." he warned, before shouting at the top of his lungs, "Oh god! Jeff!"

 _There_ was the scream I was looking for.

I smiled at the small conquest and took down all he had to give me. I moved around to the other side of the car and let myself in, lifting his head up to fit into my lap. He turned, kissing along the strained material of my jeans, but I stopped him, leaning down and capturing his lips with my own.

"Nope. Tonight was about you."

"Oh, come on. Really?" he asked, unsure if I was being facetious or not.

"Really." I confirmed, "You dealt with a lot today. We'll worry about me later. We got time, right?"

He smiled up at me, "Right."

That's when my phone went off. He grabbed it from the front seat and saw it was Jay, probably just confirming they'd made it back. Adam decided to ignore it, but when Jay called again right afterward, he figured his best friend was just concerned about where the two of them were. Or maybe why Adam's phone was smashed in a million pieces upstairs.

He sat up and said with an aggravated groan, "What's up, dude!?"

After about twenty seconds, he hung up and looked at me with wide eyes. I knew that he was scared of whatever Jay had told him and I knew that just meant more problems. Man, I thought we were _done_ with drama for the day!

I asked him what was wrong, and he said, "Matt's at the house. He wants to talk to us."


	8. Chapter 8

"Why the hell didn't Matt just call my phone? Jay and Ren aren't even back yet from the hospital." I said, "Come on! He _had_ to have found out and he was just way too mad to talk to either one of us."

"How would he find out, Jeff?" Adam asked, trying to keep his eyes on the road.

"I don't know. Maybe because neither one of us can take a shit without someone reporting it on social media somewhere...? I told him I was going to stay with a friend out here. I never said it was you, and I know Jay didn't tell him." I retorted. "I mean, think about it, though! Why else would he be around?"

"Well, why didn't you just tell him you were staying with me?" he asked.

"I didn't want to cause any problems until I knew I was going to be staying for sure."

"Why are you so sure he'd have a problem with it?"

"It wasn't him I was worried about. I was worried about the two of us having issues when I got there."

"So, what? You thought we'd end up fighting or something?" he asked, amused.

"No. Well, _yes,_ but... we hadn't really hung out in almost a decade. We might have changed too much, maybe didn't mesh well anymore." I said, "But, _no_ , that's not why I wasn't sure I would be here long."

"Well, what was it then?" he asked.

I sighed, and answered, "I thought you'd realize that two people to take care of constantly is way too much of a burden and want me to leave. That maybe you'd rushed into your offer without fully understanding the ramifications."

He grabbed my hand and said, "Hey, I had an hour long drive on the way to that hospital. I thought of every scenario, everything that might happen... trust me. But I don't think there's anything that would have told me it was a bad idea. Besides, it wasn't about me, Jeff! This was all for you."

That definitely brought a small hint of relief to my thoughts, which were going about ten miles a second. I just didn't understand it... Why _was_ Matt there!? I knew he and Adam had their problems, but they'd both assured me that things were better. But, for all I knew, Matt might absolutely hate me being so close with Adam again... Just because they reached some form of cordiality, didn't mean that it was necessarily friendship again. And it could mean that he wouldn't be thrilled with a friendship between Adam and I again either, let alone a relationship. For all I knew, he could still hate Adam's guts and he was just trying to be professional.

When we reached Adam's place, Matt was sitting on the front porch. I was trying to read his face for any sign of what he was feeling, but I really couldn't tell. Which was weird in itself. I _always_ knew what he was thinking.

He had put the car in park, but neither one of us had made a move to exit the vehicle. I was wondering if he was scared, because I sure was. Matt was hardly ever mad at me.

"So, how do you want to handle this?" he asked, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, nervously.

"Let's just see what this is about, first. Maybe we're freaking out over nothing."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Let's go." he said, exhaling sharply, before adding, "God, I hope the car doesn't smell like a brothel."

I barely got out a greeting, before Matt cut me off. "Go inside, Jeffery. I need to have a chat with _Mr. Copeland_ here."

"What are you...?" I began, but I was quickly cut off.

"Inside, Jeff!"

"Hey, don't talk to him like he's a fucking dog, okay? Now, what's going on, _Mr. Hardy?_ "

I didn't know whether to stay or go inside. If I did either, I'd have _one_ of them irritated at me. Also, I did want to know what all of this was about, but based on Matt's mood right now, I think it'd be pretty safe to say that he knew about Adam and I. How was the question? He and I thought that we'd been safe at the hospital, but maybe one of the staff snapped a picture of us holding hands or something...? It was the only scenario I thought was possible.

Adam gave me a nod to go inside, sensing that Matt wouldn't continue until I did, but as soon as the door closed behind me, I heard yelling. It was hard to make out the words, yet I knew exactly what was being said. I had to be sure though, so I went over to the door and cracked it, slightly.

"After all of that shit with Amy all those years ago... I thought things were finally okay between you and I again." Matt said, "Now, I find out you're with my _brother?_ I mean, do you get some sick high off of torturing me or something? I mean, _how_... how _could_ you...?"

"Dude, it has nothing to do with you, or whatever conspiracy you think I have plotted against you. What has developed between me and him was not my intention when I asked him to live here. He's going through a lot. He needed some help. And despite what you believe, I _do_ care a lot about him."

"You don't care about him. You like being needed, being relied on. You crave being the center of someone's universe, that's all."

"Hey! I'm not ' _Edge_ ' anymore, okay!? That's not me!"

"You better prove that. Not just to me. To him too." Matt started, "Because I know exactly what ' _Edge's_ ' intentions would be. So... what are _Adam's?_ "

" _Adam_ wasn't a factor in it. I wanted Jeff to meet my cousin. I thought _she_ could help him." he said.

"What would she help him with?" Matt asked with an exasperated sigh. He obviously wasn't believing anything Adam was saying, although I doubt he would at this point. Matt was going to see him as the enemy no matter what at the moment and anything he did was just some strategic tactic to get into my pants.

That's when I heard her voice coming from behind them. I guess Ren and Jay had just gotten back from the hospital and caught the guys' argument while walking up the driveway. I had opened the door to check and saw them both walking toward Matt, slowly. Jay was holding her hand and guiding her with his other on the small of her back, making sure she was stable as she moved gingerly.

"Because I'm epileptic; I have seizures too. So I know how it feels. How much scarier the first ones are. How your whole life gets turned upside down and now there are all of these restrictions and red tape. How everyone starts treating you like you're fragile... or some kind of obligation." she said, "I'm sorry this has upset you, but Jeff needs someone like me right now, because I'm the only one who understands."

Matt looked like he had relaxed at what she had said. Everyone stood quietly for a few seconds before he spoke, "Okay, I get that. I understand why you brought him here, but it still doesn't mean I have to be okay with your little _relationship_. But... I also know the one thing that'll never change about Jeff is he's going to do whatever the hell he wants. And apparently, that's being here with you right now. But I swear to _god_ , Adam... if you hurt him..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll kick my ass. I've heard the spiel." he said, "One question though, I have to ask... How did you find out?"

Matt pulled out his phone and handed it over to Adam, "Someone posted that a couple of days ago on the network. You two, leaving the hospital... you're carrying his bags... you can already see it. Plus, I _know_ that look on Jeff's face."

There was something sad in his tone that I noticed and Adam had too. I think Matt was scared that I wouldn't need him anymore, even though that would never happen. He was my best friend... my brother! He knew more about me than anyone. In fact, he was the first person I told about my crush on Adam, twenty some-odd years ago!

Yet, I've been in a bunch of relationships before, so what was different about _this_ one? I guess it was because after every problem I had in the past, I never ran to my boyfriend for help, I ran to Matt. And this time, I didn't have to run to _anyone_. I was offered help and support without asking for it. But, in retrospect, I never really had to ask Matt either. He always just knew and did it. Fixed the problem before I could even begin to think about how. It's like he always knew what was happening in my life even before I did...

Oh, man! I _am_ a dumbass! _That's_ why he was so mad! Because he found out about our relationship from a picture on the internet, not from me. It had to be pretty upsetting. I know I wasn't exactly thrilled when I found out about his relationship a year ago, a whole _three months_ after it had started. In fact, I'd reacted pretty much the same way he did.

I decided then to step outside and I said, "I should have been the one to tell you. I'm so sorry, Matty. I didn't think it would be public already." I walked closer to Adam, and he smiled and reached out to put his arm around my waist. I placed my hand on his chest and continued, "You have to understand why I didn't, though... when you first got with Shane, did you tell me? No! Neither of you did. You both hid it for months... this has only been a few days! And, apparently, just like you and him, everyone has seen me and Adam happening since _forever_... except us."

Matt had to get it then. Him and his boyfriend were currently in an intense relationship that had been brewing since they were teenagers. Shane had the misfortune of growing up in a strict religious household that definitively believed that you'd go to hell if you were gay, and that had postponed him coming to terms with his sexuality for a long, _long_ time. Let alone accept his feelings for Matt. But it was over a year later now, and they were going on strong, more in love than I had ever seen _any_ two people.

He walked up to us and put his hand on the back of my head, looking me dead in the eyes, "Do you swear to god that this is what you want?"

I looked to Adam and back to Matt, with a smile, "More than anything."

"Alright. Well... I hope he makes you happy and I don't have to come back here and whoop his ass. 'Cuz you know I love you, brother." Matt said.

"I love you too." I replied, feeling like a weight had fallen off of my shoulders. I knew Matt would take some time to adjust to the idea, but hopefully someday he'd see just how right this was for me. How right Adam is for me.

He hugged me, before he asked, "Well, does someone want to walk me out of here?"

Adam agreed and they started walking down the driveway. Matt said, "You know, when I saw that picture, it wasn't just Jeff that told me what was going on. I could see it all over your face too... You love him."

Adam scoffed, unconvincingly, "I wouldn't go that far yet. Jesus, it's only been a few days!"

"Well, whether or not you realize it yet, you do. That's why I needed to make sure that he was safe. I couldn't just call; I needed to see it for myself."

"Well, he's lucky to have a brother who still loves him so much. Coming all the way down here just to check on his well-being." Adam replied, as they neared Matt's rental car. "But there's something I've been wondering... I meant to ask earlier. Matt, how'd you get my gate code?"


	9. Chapter 9

Jay had made sure that Ren was settled and fully asleep before he went to check on Adam. He knocked but got no response, so he walked in to find Adam coming out of the shower; the only towel on him was in his hand, drying his hair. It was nothing new between them. Hell, they'd seen each other naked since gym class in seventh grade. Adam barely acknowledged it, in fact, and began looking through his clothing, so Jay walked over and settled on his bed. When he finished dressing, Adam sat next to him, placing his hand on the other man's leg.

"So... getting married. That's crazy, man." he started, "Are you sure about this? You two have only been together for a few weeks."

"Yeah, I know. It's insane." Jay agreed, "But when something is right, you just have to go for it, you know? And this is it. She's the one."

Adam looked skeptical, "I've thought people were ' _the one'_ before too, but I was wrong. _Way_ wrong. Everything has just been so confusing in the past, but _now_... I mean, how did you know that she's _really_ the one?" he asked.

"You can't know anything for sure, but... I don't know, man. She's my kind of crazy. She's hilarious. She can watch a movie a thousand times but still be surprised at the ending somehow. She can say some of the most sadistic things ever when she's mad, but then she cries when she sees animals for adoption at the shelter. I could spend every minute with her and never be bored. She's my best friend... other than you, of course." he said. "Also, I think what it _really_ is... is there is no scenario that I could ever imagine happening that would make me stop loving her."

Adam thought about it. There were a few things I could do that would make him mad, undoubtedly, but he wasn't sure anything could ever change his feelings. However, he wasn't sure about what those feelings exactly _were_ yet either. But Matt had said it though. Adam loved me and, somehow, my brother knew it. But what if he was wrong? What if he had planted that seed in Adam's head too early and now he was letting it grow way faster than it should? And the scariest thing for Adam was... what if he told me he loved me and then realized down the road that he didn't, just like some of the others?

Adam was known to throw that 'L' word out there too soon. His first marriage was a good testament to that, and he had talked to Matt about that a lot when it happened. He didn't _want_ to think that his friend, my _brother_ , was playing mind games to break up our relationship, but he just couldn't help it! It was what the evidence was all pointing toward, it seemed. Then again, Adam could just be acting paranoid about the whole thing.

"Why does all of this relationship stuff have to be so confusing?" Adam said, with a wry laugh, before he realized it left his mouth. When he did, he tried to change the subject quickly by adding, "Well, I'm happy for you two, dude. And I better be your best man."

"You know it!" Jay replied, but he had noticed something about Adam's demeanor that made him ask, "Why are you asking about all this _'the one'_ stuff anyway?"

"No reason." he responded, but Jay knew when he was lying to him. And Adam _knew_ when Jay knew when he was lying too. "Okay... Matt straight up told me earlier that he knows I'm in love with Jeff. He didn't ask _if_ I was, he just said that he knew. He could see it in my face in the picture he found or some bullshit. But now, I can't get those words out of my head, and it's got me thinking... if you knew it with her so quickly, that maybe this _could_ be... I don't know! Things haven't felt like this in a long, _long_ time. There's something so invigorating, so _powerful_ between us now... but I don't know if it's exactly _'_ _love'_ yet."

"And that's fine! You don't have to rush to define it. Just be glad you got it, you know?"

"I know. I just don't want to rush things and hurt him. Make him do something stupid." Adam said, looking up and Jay with genuine concern on his face. They both knew my past and how quickly I'd been triggered into a relapse before. They knew how guys had used me before. They knew how horribly I'd been treated. How devastating some breakups have been for me. And how once or twice I'd tried to kill myself.

"Well, I think... by realizing that already, that you won't." Jay replied, with a small smile. "Seriously though, everyone wouldn't have seen this coming decades ago if it wasn't something special, Adam. As cheesy as it sounds, I think you two are meant for eachother. But, hey, it took me forty years to find the love of my life; what the hell do I know? I just _do_ know that it's nice to see Jeff happy again..." Jay said, before turning to Adam and kissing his forehead, "And to see you happy too...I _guess._ " He added, mockingly rolling his eyes.

"Well, thanks." Adam smiled, "My mind's been screaming at me all day over this. It's not completely silent yet, but you've definitely turned the volume down."

"No problem. That's what I'm here for." Jay replied, with a slight chuckle. He put his hand up to Adam's temple and made a twisting motion, before he got up and headed toward the door.

Adam stopped him, though, asking, "What _were_ you here for? When you first came in?"

"Oh, I was going to tell you and Jeff not to hump the walls down tonight." he replied, with a teasing grin. "Ren is pretty thrashed after that one and she needs her rest."

"We'll try our hardest, but no promises." Adam laughed, "No, for real, though. You wanted something. What was it?"

"Actually... I was going to ask if you wanted to go house hunting with me tomorrow. I figured she and I would need our own spot soon."

Adam thought for a moment and smiled, "I have to make a few phone calls, but think I know the perfect place."

After awhile, he came up to find me 'Hardy-fying" my room, as per requested. This was becoming a really personal piece, which I usually didn't do, but I really liked the way it was turning out. I was painting a version of the Virgin Mary, that had a heart in each of her hands and one had a scorpion resting on top of it. She had a halo that was glowing purple light and had eyes that were glazed over in white, indicating she was blind. There was also wings behind her, on the ground, that had been ripped from her back, and droplets of blood staining her white robes.

I had chose Mary, because I was a Virgo, the virgin. I chose the hearts in front of me because I felt like I was holding his and mine in my hands at the moment, waiting to see where this newfound path would take us. One had a scorpion, because Adam was a Scorpio. I had made her blind, because... well, love is blind. When it's true love, you don't care what the other person looks like, what they've done, what's happened in their past... all you care about is them. And I had a lot of qualities and experiences from my past that I know that Adam had to be overlooking. Also, it was a nod to how blind about our feelings the two of us had been over this long period of time. I had torn off the wings... well, because that's how I felt right now. I felt like the bird with couldn't fly. I couldn't go out and do what I loved anymore; it was official. Which is why the wings were placed behind her, because I knew I had to leave all of that high-flying behind me. There was no more jumping off of turnbuckles or ladders in my future and it devastated me beyond belief. But if this _hadn't_ happened to me, maybe Adam and I would never have discovered this relationship. It was the one silver lining through all of this, I guess.

Adam was almost in a daze, as he slowly walked into the room, staring at the walls in front of him, "Holy shit."

I turned around and asked, "Is that a good 'holy shit' or a bad 'holy shit'?"

"Jeff, this is fucking amazing."

"Oh, good." I sighed, in relief, "I was worried you would think it was too religious-y or something."

"No." he replied, wrapping his arms around my waist, "I love it."

"You know, I've seen you sketch and stuff. I know you can draw too. Why don't you do something on one of the other walls? Or maybe the back of the door?"

"Oh, I can't do anything like this." he answered. "Plus, I've never really worked with paint... other than painting houses and stuff."

"Well, I'm sure we can find a way to add your style to the room somehow." I said, leaning in to meet his lips with mine. I was going to pull away, but he deepened things quickly, and soon, we were half-naked on the floor, rolling around like a couple of horny teenagers.

My shoulder bumped into the small step-stool I had set some buckets of paint on, causing one of the buckets to topple over and a pool of sky blue paint fell in the middle of Adam's chest.

"Oh, shit." he exclaimed, about to sit up and run to clean it off, but I pushed him back down to the floor. "What are you doing?" he asked, looking down at me with a curious smile, as I removed his pants and underwear.

"Decorating my favorite canvas." I replied, with a devious smile as I moved around over the top of him and got face to face with the pool of color. I began gently blowing the paint in all different directions, creating paths down the indentions of his musculature. The lines in his abs were the easiest to work with and he was wiggling and giggling underneath me as I traced them.

I then grabbed another can with a brush in it and dripped a few drops of bright red across his chest, directing them up toward his shoulders. I added a few droplets on his sides, getting them to river in between his rib bones. I put a few drips over his nipples and began blowing the paint up and down, and in all different directions.

Soon, he was panting heavily as I blew the paint down his stomach, until his hips jerked forward as my warm breath hit the tip of his penis. I dropped the brush and pushed his hips down, climbing back on top. He smiled devilishly, and flipped me over, then taking the brush in his hand. He quickly plastered a heart on my chest with a 'J+A' in the middle and stuck his tongue out at me.

He kissed me quickly before moving to my neck, licking and biting in all the right spots, as his hand began working my zipper down. He began rubbing me through my boxer-briefs as he kissed around the heart and scraped his teeth down my ribs gently. He was inching my pants down as he got lower, licking around the belly button before he paused and removed them completely.

I was going to get up and crawl over but Adam pushed me back down, and said, "Nope. Your turn now."

His fingers wrapped around me, pumping slowly, before his tongue peeked out to swirl around the head. Teasing me, tempting me... so agonizingly slow. I managed to squeak out a 'faster, _please_ ' before he sucked hard on the tip. Soon, he took me fully into his mouth as the pace increased. It was amazing; he had me writhing and moaning so loud, I was surprised Jay didn't come and complain. I tugged at his hair as he began taking me in deep, his tongue caressing underneath; I knew I wouldn't last much longer.

"Oh, oh god!" I yelled, "Adz, I'm 'bout to..." He flicked his tongue along the slit in the head and I released, him taking down everything I gave. "God, that was incredible!" I panted out, struggling to catch my breath.

"My name is Adam, but you can call me 'God' if you want to." He smiled, crawling up to lay next to me. I moved to roll on top of him and continue, but he stopped me. "No. Like I said, this was your turn. And, if everything works out like I plan... we'll have this house all to ourselves soon enough."


End file.
